Iron Maiden
by Fraggranark
Summary: Gajeel eats a metal amulet entirely to spite a dark mage. It turns out that was a really bad idea, as the amulet's magic turns him female. Discovering the amulet has been absorbed into his, sorry, her system, Gajeel is left to adjust & search for a cure.  Hiatus.
1. Chapter 1

Here's the first part of my Fairy Tail gender bender, with Gajeel as the obvious main targe- character! I meant character!

Thank InuOtaku911 for Beta'ing.

*** Iron Maiden – Ch.1 ***

Staring at the guild hall's entrance, a heavy hooded cloak covering his body, Gajeel Redfox decided he'd go in..._now_. Ok..._now_...what about..._now_! Now?

Standing outside in the rain, legs unmoving, the feeling of frustration welled up again. He glared at the door, as if he could make it open through sheer force of will. Right now, he hated that door. It led to nothing but misery, and vast amounts of annoyance in the form of damn Fairies. It was also inevitable, but that didn't make him any less peeved. The fact he was looking at it from a _slightly _different angle then normal just reminded him of his predicament.

"You're going to have to go in sooner or later." Glaring at the source of the voice, a small, black cat perched on his shoulder, the Iron Dragon Slayer snorted angrily, not willing to respond to what he already knew. "Someone is bound to come out sooner or later, and imagine how much worse it'll be if they just shout it out." Pantherlily pointed out.

Growling, Gajeel muttered unhappily "I know, dammit. This is going to be so annoying. Damn Salamander won't let me forget this." He hissed at the door, knuckles tightening. With a sign, he growled "Better get this over with." And marched to the door. Lifting a hand to push it in, he realised he wouldn't benefit from trying to be quiet. The intimidating approach, supplemented by an angry face and bunched up fists might buy him a few extra seconds, was in order. He brought a foot up, aimed right for the centre, and kicked.

The doors to Fairy Tail slammed open, as they were wont to do, drawing the attention of the cavorting mages. Curious, they stared at the figure walking in, stomping in a familiar, angry fashion. The cat on the cloaked newcomer's shoulder was also indicative of just who it was. Certain things didn't fit, such as the fact despite the imposing steps, the newcomer was slightly shorter, though not by much, and not quite as broad as the Iron Dragon Slayer. The long hair falling from the hood was a familiar shape of black. The breasts poking between the cloak's front openings were a bit odd too.

Sniffing, Natsu paused in the middle of trying to punch Elfman, staring at the stomper, who was doing her best to ignore them. "Gajeel?" he asked, confused for a moment. Then, as what he said registered with the rest of the suddenly silent guild:"AHAHA! You're a girl!" he laughed, trusting what his nose was telling him. It was Gajeel, but a female Gajeel.

Throwing off his – or rather, her – cloak, the changed Dragon Slayers glared at him. "Shut the hell up, Salamander!" the voice, still Gajeel's but higher-pitched and more feminine, broke the rest of the guild out of their stupor. A few started giggling, which seemed to slowly spread and grow, like some sort of evil, magical fungus and soon the building shook with laughter. They fell over each other, some collapsing as the laughter stole the strength from their limbs. A few managed to try holding it in, but it was obvious they were laughing on the inside. Big bad Gajeel, once their enemy, who glared and was rarely not grumpy, was about half a head shorter and thinner, with breasts that would rank in the top 5 in terms of size. Considering the average bust of female Fairy Tail mages, that was saying a lot.

Unnoticed, the source of their mirth clenched her fists hard, teeth gritting. Lily simply flew over to the bar, where Mirajane stood, one of the few not laughing. They both watched Gajeel's anger growing, muscles tensing.

"**SHUT UP!**" Gajeel roared, lungs working over time. "JUST SHUT THE HELL UP!" her eyes were furious, prominent Dragon Slayer fangs beared threateningly. The laughter died out, though a few kept going. One such was Natsu, who just couldn't get enough of it. She pointed at him, skin slowly growing harder and gaining a metallic sheen. "I just told you to shut, Salamander. Don't make me come over there, you bastard!" This, said in a higher pitched, more feminine version of Gajeel's usual angry voice simply sent him into even greater hysterics. Growling, Gajeel wrenched her cloak up and threw it towards him. When it was open wide, falling between them, she launched four iron rods, one at each corner that widened at the rear end, similar to nails. Natsu's laughter was cut off as he was nailed to the wall. It took him only a moment to burn the cloak away but it still broke his momentum, laughter-wise.

"Hey, whatcha do that for?" he yelled, pointing at Gajeel aggressively, who snarled back. They menaced each other, teeth displayed like dogs fighting over territory.

"I did it because you wouldn't shut up, you damn Salamander! You start up again, and I'll beat your head into the wall this time!" she threatened angrily, lifting a fist towards him.

A certifiably evil grin came over Natsu's face;, the sort people saw when they dared him to do something. In a slow, deliberate, mocking fashion, he opened his mouth and said "Ha. Ha."

"GRRAAHH!" with a howl, the Iron Dragon Slayer launched across the room. Almost by reflex, both left their magic off. You never started a fight with magic; you used it when normal fighting got boring. Having apparently forgotten her original goal of finding the Guild Master and getting her 'problem' fixed, Gajeel fell into the familiar routine of exchanging violence with Natsu. It didn't take long for the majority of the guild to join in.

Drawn by the laughter and shouting, Makarov stood on the railing of the second floor, watching the chaos with a comfortable smile. He'd have to look into Gajeel's trouble, but for now he'd be happy to wait. Still, even amid the flurry of largely playful, except in a few cases, violence, the old mage couldn't completely forget his conflicting opinion of the Iron Dragon Slayer. Sighing, he looked on, trying to push the troubling thoughts away for now. It wasn't the right time to deal with them. Still, he couldn't help but wonder why Gajeel would come to him first. Yes, he was old, knowledge and powerful, but he didn't miss the very slight tensing he – now, she – gained whenever Makarov was near. Only someone as experienced as Makarov would spot the silent, gnawing guilt in the Dragon Slayer's eyes. It wasn't something advertised, in fact Makarov was certain Gajeel tried his – her – hardest to ignore or suppress the feeling but he could tell it was there. Chances were good that the child of Metallicana had never felt the emotion before now, and new emotions could mess with one's sense of self.

With a start, the old man snapped his fingers, coming to a conclusion. Gajeel was the sort to react badly to attempts to change what he – she, he reminded himself with a grin – thought made her who she was. A new, very painful emotion was one such thing, a physical change of something like gender was another. That would explain why she'd do it. Makarov was, in her mind, the best chance of a cure as fast as possible. Some might say that getting into a fight as soon as she got back was her way of establishing to both herself and others that she was still the Gajeel they knew. They would be completely wrong, of course. Gajeel just has a bad temper under the best of circumstances, and violence is a natural solution for her to many...well, _most_ of life's problems.

About half an hour later, as the fight began to wind down, Gajeel broke free and leapt up to where Makarov still sat, landing heavily in a crouch on wooden floor behind him. The Guild Master noted absently that her already impressive mane of threateningly shaped hair had become even longer, and even more threatening.

"Yo." He greeted her, giving the gender-bent mage a grin. "Have fun?" he asked, indicating the dying brawl.

Grunting in non-committal, she went right to point. "Fix me."

Raising a curious eye brow, Makarov couldn't help point out "I'm afraid I'm not a doctor, but if you don't want children just don't-" he broke off to holler hysterically at the slack-mouthed expression that washed over Gajeel's face when she understood what he meant.

"I-I...not...ARGH!" Gripping her head in her hands, Gajeel shook wildly, trying to dislodge the mental images. A traitorous part of her mind pointed out to have children in her current form would require a man to be involved at some point. It even went so far as to begin to ponder how it could be done in distressing precision and even going through a list of who would be best. Snarling at her imagination, she faced the old man again. "I meant, this...curse, or whatever. Can you fix _that_?" her face suddenly contorted as a horrible image of assorted pink-haired, heavily pierced children appeared. She made gagging motions. She would have to make a point of punching Natsu extra hard next time. A moment and another set of images later, she was also adding Gray, Elfman, Laxus and, confusingly enough, Erza, to that list of people to cause extreme discomfort to.

Ignoring the sudden oddness in his double-agent's face and actions, partly because he could guess what might be causing it, since it was his fault, Makarov tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Well..." he began. "It might help if you explained how this happened. Give me something to work with." His suggestion was met with sudden reluctance.

"That...might not be a good idea." She said, unwilling to meet his eyes. When he just continued to look at her until she finally looked up, the Dragon Slayer finally gave in after nearly a minute. "Fine, alright. I was..." her face colours slightly. She mumbled something which escaped his hearing.

"Could you speak up?"

"I...uh...I was...doing another job at that school." She muttered quietly, looking away in embarrassment. Makarov sighed, working out rather easily the reason for the reluctance. The big bad Iron Dragon Slayer, doing jobs that involved children in a non-violent – he hoped – way. No wonder a person like Gajeel would feel embarrassed about that. A single chuckle and his face cracking into a grin was all that got out when the thought that Gajeel might be embarrassed about doing something unmanly came to the elderly guild master.

Nodding in a sagely way, he motioned for her to continue. Shooting the old man a suspicious glare, she complied.

*** Iron Maiden – Ch.1 ***

_Ye Olde Flash Back Time._

"The kids seem to like you a lot." Pantherlily observed.

"Shut it." An entirely male Gajeel warned sourly. "And keep it to yourself as well." He added a moment later.

The Exceed General smirked. "Embarrassed, are we?" he teased, enjoying the look on Gajeel's face, like he'd just bitten into a particularly strong tasting lemon. "I mean, once would be explained easily enough, but _twice_?" he went on, shaking his head sadly at the last word. "One might suspect that you're getting...soft."

The Iron Dragon Slayer's lips parted in a snarl. "You keep up like this and I'm throwing you out." He threatened menacingly, waving a hand towards the train window.

"Your heart of iron is becoming a heart of gold, soft, malleable gold."

His eye twitched. "Do you _want_ me to throw you out?"

"I can fly." Pantherlily pointed out.

"I'll throw you _really_ hard,." Gajeel promised. "Right into the ground. See how that turns out for you."

Glancing out the window, the Exceed commented on a second problem. "We're about to arrive, so I doubt you'd be able to get the window open and catch me in time before the trains stops."

The human snorted. "Who said anything about _opening_ the window?" he taunted, lifting a now metal fist. The pair exchanged grins, standing as the train reached the station. A few minutes later, they were ambling – insofar as Gajeel was capable of ambling, with him it was more a sort of slow, menacing stomp with a tad less deliberate force, and Lily was on his shoulder so technically no actual ambling was taking place – down the main road of the town whose name Gajeel had already forgotten. All he knew was that there was apparently a place here where magic-imbued metal could be dumped, and he wanted a taste.

The dumping of magical waste product was a difficult thing. Some things held magic in dangerous ways that left destroying them unviable, meaning they had to be disposed of carefully. In some cases, it was simply that the magic would fade away eventually and leave perfectly serviceable materials behind. In others, it was that the item wasn't important or dangerous enough to warrant a costly dispelling, so it was left somewhere to rot until it's magic was gone.

This presumably named town was the location of a dump for metals that retained magical energy, due to some magical, geological quirk which drained said energy faster than normal. It was strange, Gajeel had known the town's name before, he must have, to know to come here, but it had simply slipped his mind somewhere along the line. Assuming it was unimportant, since he had forgotten, the mage went back to thinking about the taste. He unconsciously licked his lips; nearly drooling at the possibilities conjured by an imagination he would soon be cursing.

Asking the locals for direction – if "Oi, you, tell me where the hell the magic metal dump." counts as asking – they soon came to the dump, a non-descript building on the outskirts of the town. Simply barging in, he heard a vaguely human squawk of surprise and the sound of someone falling off their chair. The room smelt of a human, male, probably in his late teens or early twenties.

"Ah, don't come bargin' in when people are sleeping." Standing up, the dump caretaker hissed and held the back of his head, feeling up a bunch of braided dreadlock ponytails. "That's gonna leave a lump." Sliding back into his chair and throwing his feet onto the desk, he ran an eye over the newcomers. "Name's Dave. What's up?" he retrieved what, from the smell of it, appeared to be a several day old curry and began to eat it.

Deciding that this weirdo wasn't important, Gajeel shrugged. "I wanna eat some of the metal here. Which door?" he waved a hand at the numerous doors behind Dave.

Putting his curry down, Dave dug fingers into his ears, cleaning them out. "Sorry, did you say you want to _eat_ some of the metal?" he asked, incredulously.

"Yeah."

"Uh..."

They stared at each other, neither knowing what was wrong with the other, until Lily sighed in a put upon manner. "Gajeel's an Iron Dragon Slayer, as in he eats metal. Gajeel, Dave here is confused by someone wanting to eat metal because he didn't know you could." He explained tiredly.

"You can _eat_ metal?" Dave asked.

"Yeah." Was all Gajeel felt was needed to be said. After a moment, he asked "Which door?"

Dave looked at him appraisingly, then shrugged. "Sure, why not. I mean, not meant to let anyone to come in except to dump stuff, but not like anyone cares?" he asked rhetorically, getting up and fumbling around for a key. Finally unlocking the door he needed, the caretaker guided them down the stairs that apparently led to where metal was dumped. All the while he chatted about inane things, not taking notice that neither Gajeel nor Lily were taking an actions, conversation-wise.

Opening a door at the bottom of the stairs, Dave motioned for them to go in first. Entering, Gajeel felt drool building. Throughout the underground room sat wood bins emblazoned with magical runes, filled with pieces of metal. Most were ruined, damaged pieces of machines or weapons.

"Go ahead." Dave waved a hand negligently. "Have fun." He settled back to watch.

Going to the first bin, Gajeel pulled out a dented metal cog engraved with runes and took a bite. The double taste of good quality metal and magic was delicious. Devouring the rest of it, he began to dig through the rest of the bin. Dave sat on an upturned, empty bin near the door, amazed at how Gajeel's teeth were pulverising worked iron and steel like it was curry. On that thought, he retreated upstairs to get his curry. No sense in letting good entertainment go to waste.

Reaching the bottom of the first bin in quick order, Gajeel pulled out the last item. It looked like some sort of amulet made from many entwined wires, shaped like a combination of male and female symbols. Staring at it, he threw it in a pocket for later. Never hurt to have a snack for later.

Two hours later, a satisfied Gajeel was kicking back and relaxing as the train left the station. He licked his lips as he remembered the feast. That Dave guy wasn't so bad after all. It turned out he wasn't actually meant to let anyone in, as he'd said, but obviously no one ever checked and Dave seemed to value his job as highly as he did personal hygiene and diet.

Belching loudly, he leant back and relaxed until the train arrived at the next town. The ride was uneventful, at least until the explosion.

Jerking awake, the Dragon Slayer snarled in anger. Glancing at Lily, they both stood. Taking a sniff, Gajeel stepped into the isle and began to make his way to the explosion. Several more suddenly shook the train.

"Bandits?" Gajeel speculated to Lily.

"Probably." The Exceed agreed. "From the fact they've bombed all along the train, I doubt they're here for anything particular. I'll fly to the front and work my way back." He suggested. They were in one of the rearmost cars, so they could clear the whole thing faster that way.

Gajeel smirked. "Last one to the middle buys the beer."

The bandits in the next car, who had the job of going through the last cars at end, were rather surprised when the, instead of coming across a room full of quivering, fearful passengers, they found a tall, leering, and, as they soon discovered, violent man who disregarded their firearms quite casually. Soon after, the bandits terrorising the front of the train found themselves being beaten bloody by a large, cat-like man whose muscles were most definitely not for show.

"Damn, you guys just suck." Gajeel muttered after the first few cars. He was mowing through them easily, it was boring. "You didn't even bring one mage. Idiots."

"Don't be so sure." A voice called. Looking up from the bandit he was denting the floor with, Gajeel caught sight of a rather more interesting enemy. Dressed in loose, buckle-covered leather armour, he glared in what was meant to be a threatening way at Gajeel, but just made him look constipated.

The Dragon Slayer eyed him lazily. "You supposed to be a mage? What's with the buckles? You look like an idiot." His tone was bored, and slightly amused, like a dragon watching in amusement as a man covered in armour trying to stab it with a strange little knife, but it was only to pass the time. The bandit mage caught that.

"Yes!" he snarled. "I am! I'll teach you to respect me, you damn legal mage!" he spat the words 'legal mage' as though they were written 'serial murderer'. As a magic rune flashed up, he added "and the buckles look cool!"

Flame roared over Gajeel, melting the carpet and setting fire to the seats near him. The bandit laughed gleefully and the cowering passengers gasp in horror.

"Pfft, you call that fire? Pathetic." Lowering a shielding iron arm, he laughed darkly. "You ain't nothing." A positively evil grin grew. "I had a feast back in that town, but nothing works up an appetite like beating snots like you into bloody pulps."

The bandit gulped, finally realising something important. Knights who cease to amuse dragons tend to end up at a very high temperature. In this case, it was a metal armoured dragon watching a human throwing fire at it.

Another blast of fire tore through the air, but Gajeel simply lifted his arm again. The flames really weren't much trouble, so he took his time, letting out a menacing 'Gi hi hi hi' as he slowly approached the bandit, who was backing up at the same pace. "G-get a-away! Monster!" he squeaked, terrified. Everything he threw at the man-shaped monster did nothing! It was like a nightmare! Nothing like the straw-men he practised on, or that punk who commented on his outfit.

The bandits in the next cart had been getting concerned at the sustained use of magic from their less than...stable comrade, and then the yelling. When the door was splintered by the buckle-loving mage, they suitably shocked. Staring, they looked through the empty doorway, and standing just beyond the broken frame of the other cart's door, stood Gajeel. Turning at the sound, a sinister figure in dark, voluminous clothing much akin to robes pondered this turn of events with interest.

"Tch, a single punch. What a damn waste of breath." Gajeel grumbled, striding into the cart. "Which of you punks wants to be first?" he asked casually, in the voice most people asked for the time.

The darkly clothed man raised an eyebrow. His hair was short, cropped close to his skull, and black. His sharp features complimented an overall 'evil' image. Green eyes gazed at the world, a hint of the mind behind them in their intensity. Looking down at the bandit mage, he didn't even bother sneering. Later, this would be of note to Gajeel. In his experience, dark mages were the sort who took every chance to sneer at a failed comrade or underling. But this one just seemed to take in what was happening without emotion.

Looking at the Dragon Slayer, the man was the first to speak. "Gajeel Redfox, former member of Phantom Lord's S-Class mages, currently high-class member of Fairy Tail. Iron Dragon Slayer, displays less urge to find foster-parent, the Iron Dragon Metalicana, than the Fire Dragon Slayer and Sky Dragon Slayer. Noted for violent tendencies and ruthlessness, despite refusing the invitation of a number of dark guilds after the dissolution of Phantom Lord. Partner: Pantherlily. Good afternoon." His voice was as clipped and sharp as his demeanour.

"Who the hell are you?" Gajeel snarled, pointedly refusing to be unnerved. This one was weird, and he smelled...odd. Thin, almost like he wasn't there, an empty taste was the only way to describe it.

The man considered this question for a moment. "You may call me Folamh. Tell me, did you by chance acquire an amulet of thick, entwined wires shaped into a combination of the symbols of masculinity and femininity, or perhaps shaped into a three-clawed talon with bronze tips?"

"Eh?" the Dragon Slayer was confused for a moment at the sudden question. Unthinking, his hand dove into his pocket and retrieved it. Swearing internally at the uncharacteristic move, he wondered why he had done it. It had felt like being asked the time, something you just did automatically since it would be rude not to. Well, he assumed so. Gajeel tended to ignore things like that, and the people asking for it. In his opinion, if they wanted to know the time they should buy a bloody watch or learn to judge the sun's position. "What's it to you?"

Folamh sighed, his first display of emotion. "I was afraid of that. Would you please give it to me? I will pay, if required." He seemed to disregard his 'comrades' or the passengers, acting as if the two mages were alone.

Eyeing the man, Gajeel grinned. "Why don't you take it?" he taunted, muscles tensing. Here was a challenge, if the signals his long ignored survival instincts were throwing at him were any indication.

"Please, Mr. Redfox, I do not want to fight you. If it was dropped from a moving train in the fight, I might never find it. The amulet's power is elusive, and I could only discover its general area. Even this close I am not able to pinpoint it on you. I will also remove the bandits from the train, if you wish." Folamh offered, not turning as the bandits glared and began to threaten him.

"You really want it that bad?" Gajeel asked, impressed by the man. Here was a cool one, to stand so casually as firearms and weapons surrounded him. Only the powerful and the stupid could act like that, and Folamh most certainly did not give the impression of stupidity. Just the opposite, in fact.

"I do." Was the simple reply.

Gajeel's grin became sinister, without any part of his face or body actually moving. "Too bad." With that, he shoved in into his mouth, chewed, and swallowed. Patting his stomach, he gave the man a wide, toothy smile. His Dragon Slayer fangs were noticeable when he did so, he knew.

Folamh didn't twitch or move. In fact, his expression did not change in the slightest. "Very well. It is a shame, Mr. Redfox, that events unfolded in such a manner. I shall depart. Our business is concluded, gentlemen." The last he said to the bandits, who were gobsmacked.

"Wait! 'Depart'? What the hell?" Gajeel demanded, taking a step forward, fists closing tightly. "I wanted a fight! You're meant to get angry! Get angry!" he yelled the last part at the impassive man.

"I am afraid you did not know the variables when planning to enrage me into fighting you, Mr. Redfox. I do not get angry. You have indeed prevented me from achieving my goal here, but it has been done and can't be undone. Even should it be extractable, the magic which allows Dragon Slayers to eat their element, coupled with that which allows them to consume raw magic despite the danger, has likely damaged it beyond repair. I have nothing to gain undertaking such an endeavour." Folamh explained politely. He made no indication he was aware of the angry bandits around him. At the darkening look on Gajeel's face, however, he added "I am not an unkind man, so I will warn you that you would be best served by removing the threat of the bandits within the next several minutes. The magic of the amulet has many abilities, but in its current form I can estimate its likely affect on you. For now at least."

This was getting stranger by the minute. "What hell are you talking about, you mad bastard?" Gajeel growled.

"You will see soon, Mr. Redfox. I would advise you to accept whatever changes are made. The powers of that item are great, and I have never discovered evidence of anyone curing its myriad of effects. I wish you well, and give my best wishes to Mr. Lily in the Exceeds' search for their lost children." Without another word, Folamh vanished, as the _twang_ of crossbows and _crack_ of firearms filled the train cart. This was followed by the sound of bandits cursing and yelling as crossbow bolts and bullets hit the bandits on the other side of the ring that had previously surrounded Folamh.

Glaring at them, Gajeel felt what he thought was a physical pang of anger until much later, when he was going over previous events carefully. He had just missed out on a fight which looked like it would have been fun. The guy could teleport without any visible sign of magic! Someone like that had to have some power.

"You idiots are _really_ unlucky." Gajeel walked towards them, his features twisted into a mask of anger. He cracked his knuckles.

_And here, ye Flash Back endth!_

*** Iron Maiden – Ch.1 ***

"And I found him in the next cart, unconscious, twitching, and surrounded by confused bandits." Pantherlily finished the tale, having joined them. "The change happened not long after that."

"Yeah." Gajeel agreed reluctantly.

Makarov rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Well, I have to admit the magic seems to have been formidable."

The Dragon Slayer asked, confused, "Eh? You can tell just like that?"

"I've learnt a few tricks." Makarov said simply. "I can tell because of how little magic there is. It seems the amulet's magic changed you, but once it had done it's gone. Let me just try-" he reached out, laying a hand on Gajeel's stomach and closed his eyes, concentrating his magic.

_Boom!_

A less than dignified squawk left Gajeel's mouth as she soared through the air, crashing into the far wall. The guild fell silent, staring up at the sound and sight. Gajeel managed to land on her feet when she pulled herself from the wall.

"Dammit, I thought you were gonna fix me!" she demanded, before she caught sight of the old mage. He stood, frozen, in the same pose. Something glowed around the tip of his fingers, and his face had a strained look. No one was sure what to do, staring in shock.

After a moment, Makarov roared "Gajeel, open your mouth!" he commanded it, his voice demanding obedience. Without thinking, Gajeel's jaw dropped open. Makarov's arm grew, bringing the glowing hand to Gajeel's face swiftly. As it passed them, some of the guild members saw what the glow was. Flecks of colour shifting light rebounded between runes that glittered in a ball enclosing them. He rammed the magic into Gajeel mouth, then grabbed her chin and forced it shut. Gajeel swallowed reflexively.

The guild was greeted with the unique sight of Gajeel pausing, frozen, before groaning and falling to the ground, followed by thrashing and clawing at the floor. At Makarov's command, several of the mages attempted to restrain her. This caused her to snap out of the wild thrashing and go into wild aggression, which went well up until the wildly fighting Dragon Slayer bit Elfman on the thigh. The large mage was extremely glad he had dropped her moments before, as if he had continued to try holding her up by her legs the bite would have been somewhere rather more...unpleasant.

Watching this with distress, no one was entirely certain what to do. Makarov, panting and apparently greatly tired, was only able to say Gajeel was suffering side effects of an attempt to cure her, and was not in control of her actions. She was like a wild animal, attacking anyone who got to close. The consensus to leave her growling on the floor until she fell asleep was well on its way to being accepted when a thought crossed a certain Script Mage's mind. Quietly, without making a fuss, she wrote a word down and let the magic work its...magic.

With speed normally meant for beating enemies into bloody stains on the floor, Gajeel leapt upon the large IRON shaped iron that hit the ground nearby.

"Well? What are you waiting for?" Levy asked when everyone turned to stare at her. "Do something. Do you _want _him to get hurt acting like that?" she demanded sternly. A few guilty looks conveyed the opinion that yes, that might be possible. She sighed in exasperation. "Honestly! If I can get over it, the rest of you can!" She had, admittedly, been bottling up a bit of frustration over this subject recently, and was getting the chance to let it out was rare. She generally didn't like shouting and confrontations, but today was getting fairly odd.

"I've got it." The call came a black form dropping from above, rapidly gaining speed and size. Landing heavily, Pantherlily brought his elbow sharply onto the back of Gajeel's head. The Dragon Slayer slumped, unconscious, over her giant half eaten word. Lifting the Dragon Slayer, he threw his partner over his shoulder. When he looked to thank Levy, he very pointedly _did not_ say anything concerning some opinions on Gajeel. The sheer sound of things not being said was deafening. "Thank you for that, I was worried things would get messy before I could restrain or disable he- him." He said to Levy.

She smiled at him kindly. Levy liked Pantherlily. He was calm, polite, provided enjoyable conversation and was really cute when he wasn't being big. "I was happy to help. Someone had to."

A vaguely embarrassed expression managed to push its way onto Pantherlily's face. Leaning down, he quietly asked "There is something more we could use your help with. Would you please come by our lodgings tomorrow morning? Quietly, please?" there was something in his voice Levy couldn't quite identify.

Seeing his serious expression, she nodded. "I'll come by around nine. I remember where it is."

Standing to his full height, Pantherlily nodded down at her. "Again, thank you." He looked up at Makarov. "I'll take Gajeel back to our lodgings for, now. Are there likely to be any complications?"

The old man shook his head, massaging the hand he had touched Gajeel with. "No, I don't...think so. I'm not entirely certain what just happened. Just be careful, and don't let Gajeel over do it." A strange look came over him for a moment, than he grinned. "Tell Gajeel-_chan_ I hope _she_ is alright." His voice could only be described as mischievous.

Lily laughed. "I like my organs on the inside, thanks Master. Until tomorrow." He gave a departing wave and left, disappearing into rain.

Tapping her chin as she sat down, Levy ignored her partners' questions about what Lily had asked her. Suddenly, she smacked her palm with a fist. That was it!

He had been trying not to laugh.

*** Iron Maiden – Ch.1 ***

"-ET AWAY, YOU CHERRY BASTARD!"

Looking up from his breakfast the next morning, Panthlily quirked an eyebrow. "Must have been having another dream about fighting." He muttered to himself. A few minutes later, the still extremely female Gajeel emerged from her bedroom, an unpleasant expression on her face. Mumbling angrily to herself about disgusting dreams, Gajeel went through the pantry, eventually emerging with a bowl of bolts, nuts and a number of other small metal items. It was only when she threw herself onto a stool at the kitchen table that Lily realised she didn't have a shirt on.

The Exceed's face went slightly red. "Gajeel." He began.

"What?" the irritable Dragon Slayer glared at him, not in a good mood.

Taking a deep breath, since explaining to Gajeel minutes after waking up that she should be wearing a shirt at all times now, Pantherlily was forestalled by knocking. Turning, both looked at the door. Someone was knocking. Lily glanced at the clock. It was five minutes until nine. Stomping and grumbling, Gajeel got up and march to the door. At the last second Lily bit back a warning. It was too good a chance to miss. He looked on in interest.

"What the hell do you want?" Gajeel yanked the door open, demanding in a voice which said 'This had _better be important._' Levy's scent hit her nose a moment later. "Oh, bookworm. What's up?" this was asked in a slightly less annoyed voice.

Levy stared, unable to tear her eyes away. "U...uh...G-Gajeel?"

"Yeah yeah, didn't you see last night?" she growled. Still the Script Mage stared, mouth open. "What? What's wrong with you?"

"U-um..."

"Gajeel, allow me to be the one to tell you: there's a _reason_ women don't answer the door without a shirt." Pantherlily called from the kitchen table, a grin on his small face at Gajeel's uncomprehending expression. To Levy, he said "Be grateful the idiot is wearing pants today."

Levy's face, already a dangerous shade of red, went critical. Gajeel, now leaning against the door frame, looked between them in confusion. Absently, her arms folded. Without quite realising it, she compensated for the 'obstructions' by crossing her arms beneath them. This added a certain...'emphasis'.

With a small "Erk." Levy fainted, a slight trail of blood dripping from her nose.

Gajeel stared down at her. "What's her problem?"

*** Iron Maiden – Ch.1 ***

"It ain't my fault she's a perve."

"You were the one without a shirt one."

"Well, she's the one who fainted."

"Yes, that's the point: Because you didn't have a shirt on. Crossing your arms like that didn't help."

"What the hell are you talking abou-"

Levy cracked her eyes open, staring up at the unfamiliar ceiling, a soft groan interrupting the conversation. "What happened?" she asked of no one in particular. She sat up, looking around. Standing behind the couch, Gajeel, thankfully wearing a loose fitting shirt now, looked down on her. Pantherlily sat on her shoulder.

"You fainted because of Gajeel's breasts…you know, before today I never thought I'd say those words in that order." Lily mused.

It all came flooding back to Levy, like someone just blew up a dam above a heavily populated valley. She face went red and she prayed desparetlydesperately for the floor to open wide and eat her. Of course, all that would have done was brighten the day of the shy fellow who rented the basement floor.

"Oh come on, not again!" Gajeel growled. "If you faint, I'm not going to help."

Levy tried to get her mouth to work properly. "Uh…sorry, it just came as a shock."

"And you have to admit they're nice." Gajeel and Lily stared at her, and Levy realised with a start that had been _her_ voice. More accurately it had been her pouty voice. Levy slapped hands over her mouth.

"…perve."

"I'm not!" Levy protested. Gajeel snorted, obviously not believing her.

"Right." She said sarcastically. A grin spread across her face. "No wonder you hang around bunny girl all the time. Waiting for a chance to see up her skirt?" she taunted.

"That's not why!" the Script mage tried to explain.

"I mean, we've heard you complimenting her before, but we all thought you were just being playful." Pantherlily joined in. It looked fun and he could use the bolt points soon. With most people they'd say "brownie" points but considering Gajeel's diet….

"Lily!" Levy pouted at him.

"Ge hi hi hi hi." Gajeel laughed at her expression.

"W-well…you have an evil laugh!" Levy shouted at the gender-changed Dragon Slayer. "It's the kind of laugh that kicks puppies and sets kittens on fire while eating baby seals marinated in the dreams of small children!" she pointed a finger at Gajeel accusingly.

A tick appeared on her forehead. "Eh? What was that, you limp-limbed-"

"ENOUGH!" Pantherlily roared, suddenly fully sized. The arguing girl_s_ gave him wide-eyed looks of surprise. "Please, let's not turn this into a…Natsu and Gray discussion, ok? We're all reason- all adults, right?"

Levy sighed. "You're right Lily."

"Yeah yeah." Gajeel scowled. She looked down at Levy, now curious. "Why'd you come by this time of morning?"

"Lily asked me to. You didn't say why." She directed that at the Exceed, who suddenly looked shifty. He had returned to his smaller form, possibly to make it easier to get away.

"What's the deal?" his partner asked.

"Well, the thing is…" he avoided Gajeel's eyes. Taking a deep breath, he forced himself to talk. "You need someone to show you…'female things'." The quotation marks hung in the air.

"'Female things?'" Gajeel growled, fists tightening. "What exactly do you mean by 'female things', Lily?" she snarled questioningly.

He cleared his throat, checking out of the corner of his eye. Damn, he'd forgotten to leave the window open. Well, no point delaying it. "Gajeel, you might be female for...who knows how, and you need to know the basics of hygiene at the very least. If not for yourself, at least for _us_. It's hard enough to get paid with you constantly scowling and scaring the customers." He said frankly. "You actually made one hit the ceiling!"

"Oi, that was only one time! And it only took us ten minutes to get him down from the ceiling fan!" Gajeel protested. She glared at him. "An' I don't need no help with hygiene. I'll be fine."

Levy raised a hand. "Uh, Lily? I get why you asked me, but why _me_?"

The Exceed warrior shrugged. "Well, you helped before, and while I gather the two of you have had...problems" neither was sure if he was aware of what an understatement that was. "But you seemed the most likely to be of actual help."

"Actual help?" Levy questioned the particular words.

"There are some major differences between Erza here and Knightwalker back in Edolas, but really, even if she was willing how much help would she be? The Water-mage is leaving trails of rain everywhere because of who knows what, the blond girl is constantly with Salamander and I doubt Gajeel would trust her enough anyway." Pantherlily ticked off points on his tiny fingers. "It would be far too awkward to ask any of the other women in the guild as well."

"Oh." Levy said in a small voice. "So I was your last choice."

"What? No, actually, you were the first. I just thought those were good reasons." He clarified.

She brightened. "Oh, ok. Well, I suppose I can help."

Pantherlily nodded in satisfaction. "I thought you would. We might need to get her some more clothes, her current things are badly fitting and –"

"Don't decide for me!" Gajeel roared. "I don't need any help! Its all fine, I don't need any of this worthless stuff!"

Lily and Levy looked at him, watching the angry expression. The Exceed sighed. And he had thought things were going so well too.

While he was thinking that, Levy was thinking about fixing the problem. Hands on hips, she glared right back. "Oh, my help is worthless, is it?"

"Eh? What, no, I didn't mean-" Gajeel began.

Levy pressed on. "I came here to help, and you're saying its _worthless_, are you? That's as good as calling _me_ worthless!" she shouted at the shocked Dragon Slayer. Making a show of huffing angrily, she stomped towards the door. But not _too _fast.

"Wait!" Gajeel hand latched onto her arm as she reached to open it. "I didn't mean it like that! You ain't worthless. I never meant that." The Dragon Slayer frowned angrily, though whether it was at Levy for misunderstanding or herself for getting the Script Mage upset, she wasn't sure.

"So you will accept my help? Great!" Levy suddenly reversed gear, becoming cheerful with suspicious speed. "Well, let's get going." She proceeded to also reverse the grip, now being the one to grab Gajeel's arm, pulling her out the door. "Coming, Lily?"

An amused voice called "Sure, let my just grab Gajeel's wallet." He didn't exactly have much room to carry much money himself.

Turning to lead the way off, Levy found her path blocked by a short person. A very short person. But very broard, she noted. About four feet tall, but easily one of the broadest shouldered people she had ever seen. A beard was doing its best to poke out of the obscuring cloak that covered...it?

"Oh, I'm sorry." The voice was male, if a bit timid. "I was just coming up to ask Gajeel to please keep the shouting down, but I see he's not in. Are you his sister, miss?" he asked Gajeel.

"Nah, 's me, Flint." The Dragon Slayer informed the short figure. "We're headin' off, don't worry. How's that sword comin' for Lily?" she asked casually, like it was an everyday event to inform someone you were now the opposite gender. 'Yeah, got out of bed this morning female. Honestly, Tuesdays.'

"Oh, it's, ah, coming along well. It should be ready on Thursday." Flint mumbled. Behind him, Levy could see an open trap door set into the building wall near the ground.

When Levy wasn't able to convey the message 'introduce us!' to Gajeel through her eyes, she sighed and did it herself. There were advantages to being with her team, who could read her body language as well as she could theirs. "I'm sorry;, some of that shouting was mine. I'm Levy." She said kindly. Something about the little man made her feel like she might scare him away if she was too loud. She held a hand out – down – to shake.

"Right. I'm, ah, Flint. Flint, um, Stronginthearm." He hesitantly reached out and lightly shook her hand, drawing his back into the folds of his cloak quickly.

Before Levy could ask anything else, Lily emerged. "Good morning Mr. Stronginthearm, sorry for the noise. We'll just be off." He said, nodding. The Exceed hurried them off, eliciting an unseen look of relief on Flint's face. Walking the trio walking away, he sighed and returned to his basement. There were things that needed doing, if he wanted to finish the sword Lily had commissioned him to make.

*** Iron Maiden – Ch.1 ***

Well, first chapter done.

BONUS POINTS – will be awarded to anyone who can spot shout-outs and such in this. There'sThere are three, although two very obvious ones to readers of the Dragonlance Chronicles and Discworld are together. Well, there are 3 I remember putting in, but I might have forgotten some if there's more. Not sure. The other, which appears first, is a shout-out to a certain British comedy, one of my favourites.

Folamh = according to an online translator is Gaelic / Irish for 'Empty'. I think. I might have used a different one.

Hope you enjoyed, please R&R.


	2. Chapter 2

You know, I really did not think it would take me this long to get in the mood to actually do another chapter. Sorry to all those who liked the first chapter and wanted another. I intended a slightly longer one, but have decided to go with this since I had a relatively good place to break off in.

Sajira, since you were anonymous I can't reply directly but: you are half right. The "Flint" part is definitely from Dragonlance's Flint Fireforge, the "Stronginthearm" is a common Dwarf surname in Terry Pratchett's fantastic Discworld series.

Anyway, just a warning with spell names: I'm going with whatever I feel sounds cooler for whichever characters. Some use English translations, some use Japanese. For the Japanese ones, on their first use they'll have a little number. Look to the bottom of the page and there's a translation with that number. Uses after the first won't have the number.

Anyway, read, review, reap the souls of your enem- err, whoops, forget about that last part...hehe...

Also: Check out this picture for a good idea of what Gajeel now looks like, save for the hair style. Pretty good picture, in my opinion.  
>.comart/Gender-Bent-Dragon-Slayers-209228441?q=boost%3Apopular%20Gajeel%20gender&qo=1

Thanks to InuOtaku911 for beta reading.

* _Iron Maiden Chapter 2_ *

"Thank fuck that's over." Gajeel swore as she threw herself onto her coach, dropping the few bags she had been carrying. The Dragon Slayer was joined a moment later by Pantherlily, who was scooped up and held in what would be considered an adorably cuddly, possessive fashion were it not for Gajeel's involvement.

The Exceed rolled his eyes and got comfortable. "It wasn't so bad. And you have to admit, she's a good haggler."

Gajeel shared a grin with her cat as they remembered the moment when the clerk at the store Gajeel usually bought from realised he'd met his match in the form of a small, blue-haired girl who really seemed quite nice on the surface. It was amazing, Gajeel mused internally, the types of clothing stores Magnolia had. After a moment, she thought to Fairy Tail and some of its many, oft-times bizarre, fashion senses and decided that it was actually a testament to smart business-owners. After all, when a mage found the _outfit_, that one combination of accessories and clothes that they would forever more wear, who else would they go to when their dangerous missions damaged it?

"'S ok," Gajeel admitted reluctantly, receiving a snigger from Lily "Shuddup."

They stayed where they were for a while, simply relaxing. It would be a surprise to some that Gajeel did not, in fact, spend her free time practising for the perfect evil laugh, nor working out how much damage it takes to break a person's will to fight. Possibly, although Gajeel had not said it, it was due to the fact that the only other person Gajeel had even been close to was a large, metal-covered and, if you took the Dragon Slayer's word for it, 'selfish' dragon that she enjoyed simply relaxing in Pantherlily's company. Neither would actually call it anything such 'cuddling', even if everyone else would. Not within earshot though.

After a while, Lily spoke. "So, we've got you clothing which is _entirely identical_" he gave his Dragon Slayer a look which said the words 'because you're completely unoriginal' before continuing "aside from the fact they're sized for women. I don't even want to know _why _anyone would sell such things."

"Oi. I don't see the problem. I like 'em." She glared down at her partner.

"Exactly," Lily replied with a smirk. Gajeel huffed and glared, but did not bother arguing back. "What now?"

Gajeel gave him a surprised look. "What do ya mean, 'what now'?"

"I mean, 'what now'? As in, _what_ do we do _now_? Do you want to just go back to jobs or go looking for a cure?" the black cat explained. "We could go back to those stores and you could frighten the sales assistants some more, you looked like you were having a good time." He suggested jokingly, getting a guffaw in response.

She shrugged, but seemed to think about it. "Let's head back later and ask the old man if he's got any leads. If not, we'll go on a quest and listen for something."

Lily listened and nodded; "Sounds good to me. So, when do you want to head in?"

The Iron Dragon considered this as she adjusted her place on the couch, ending up lying lengthwise across it, still holding Pantherlily tight. "Later. I...can't be bothered." She explained weakly, not really bothering to think of something better.

"Yeah, right," Lily's tone said he was in no way fooled, but was willing to let it pass.

* _Iron Maiden *_

The next morning, after an unsuccessful discussion with Makarov which yielded only a promise to look into it with his contacts and a very subtle warning not to take any solutions Ivan might offer which did not quite fly over the perceptive Pantherlily's head, the pair ended up staring at the Request Board. They searched over the flyers looking for something that involved violence, preferably in copious amounts.

"What about this one?" Pantherlily pointed to a request for guards to look after some noble or another.

Gajeel snorted, shaking her head. "Fuck no. I ain't lookin' after some brat. If it was worth more, maybe." Nab, who was in his usual place at the request board, caught sight of a bobbing movement out of the corner of his eye. He froze as the information about _what _it was that was bobbing up and down. His face went red and the mage looked away. The Dragon Slayer noticed this, however. "Hey, what's wrong with y-"

"Gajeel, Lily! You looking at the escort request?" Makarov called from his seat on the 2nd floor railing.

She shrugged; "No way. I told Lily, I ain't wasting my time looking after some spoiled brat." Nab used the chance to flee, not willing to explain what had made him blush.

The old man let out a laugh. "No _maternal_ instincts?" he asked with a cheeky grin. Gajeel snarled and gave him the finger, which just made Makarov laugh again. Letting it out, he threw something down to the pair. Lily caught it, unfolding a request.

"Damn!"

It was nearly identical to the request on the board, but the reward had increased from 50,000 Jewels to 150,000 Jewels.

Pantherlily glanced up at Makarov. "What's the reason for the higher reward?" he asked suspiciously.

Makarov coughed,_ obviously_ not covering up any amount of laughter. "Well, it seems the noble who needs to be guarded has a made a few...enemies since the original request. Bandits, mobsters, that sort. I thought you might be interested." He offered, but something in his voice told the pair there was more.

"That all, huh?" Gajeel eyed him, "Why us?"

"Because one of the gangs aiming for him is connected to the bandits you fought on the train." Their eyes widened at the implications of those words.

Gajeel sighed and looked darkly at her partner. "Guess we're babysittin'. Thanks old man." She called as they started towards the door.

"Hey Lily, make sure Gajeel doesn't punch out the brat. Trust me; it's not Manly to fail a escort job because you beat up the VIP!" Elfman called helpfully.

They paused it their progress, swinging towards him. Unnoticed by Gajeel, there was a movement from a certain area of his body that sent blood to Elfman's cheeks. "That sounded suspiciously like you've got experience in that particular event." Lily observed.

"Y-yeah..." Elfman admitted, looking away, suddenly no longer talkative.

"Oi, what's wrong with you?" Gajeel asked, narrowing her eyes. She took a heavy step towards him.

If his collar wasn't already open and his chest bared by his jacket, Elfman would probably be fingering it nervously. "U-uh, n-nothin'" He rallied. "A Man doesn't get-" he trailed off as Gajeel took another heavy, shuddering step that sent vibrations up her body.

"What?" Gajeel was demanding now. "The fuck is wrong with you?"

"Gah," Lily closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. As fun as this was, Gajeel was in a bad enough a mood from having to 'babysit' already. "Gajeel, look down."

"Huh?" she glanced down, then back to her partner, scowling. "Yeah, I got tits now. Doesn't everyone already fuckin' know?"

The Exceed rolled his eyes. "Look down, and take another stomp." He explained, talking as if to as small child.

Growling, Gajeel did so. She frowned, and did it again. And again; "Well." She finally said after a moment's consideration. "Would you look at that."

"Yes, I believe several people are." Her partner remarked, looking around the room. In a much quieter voice, he added "You do know there was a reason Levy took you into that store, right?"

"Which one?" she asked, trying to remember.

Pantherlily rolled his eyes. "Honestly. The one which made you go red."

"How red?"

The Exceed considered the question for a moment; "Somewhere between blood red and tomato red."

"Oh." There was an internal struggle as Gajeel forced blood from gathering in her face through sheer will power. Getting back on topic, she went on. "Yeah, I know the one, so what?"

"It was to _avoid_ this. Don't tell me you haven't noticed them moving, you're too much of a fighter not to be aware of them. You need support, at the very least so you can fight properly." Lily scolded her.

Gajeel groaned. "Fine, we'll head back home first."

"Good morning. Ah, Gajeel?" a voice asked from behind them.

Turning, she nodded down at Levy, "Yeah?"

Levy performed the well-known and widely renowned manoeuvre referred to by masters of its art as the face palm. "I was going to ask why Elfman was trying not to look at you, but I don't even have to ask, do I?"

The Dragon Slayer shrugged nonchalantly, creating a jiggling sensation. "Guess not, Bookworm. Lily just told me. Don't worry, I'm gonna fix it. See ya in a bit, shortstuff, we're off for a mission." She strode past. Gajeel hesitated, a step away, before turning with a scowl. "And...Thanks. For yesterday." She grumbled and walked away faster.

"My thanks as well. It was incredibly amusing to see this idiot in a –" the former general found his small, fuzzy mouth covered by a calloused hand in short order as they left.

As the irate Dragon Slayer stomped out of the guild, Levy stared after the pair. "Huh."

"Is something wrong, Levy-chan?" Lucy called. She had been watching events unfold, and aside from being amused by Gajeel's completely lack of awareness about the power of breasts, had found it a rather...interesting spectacle. And, she noted positively, unlike most things at Fairy Tail it did _not_ involve violence.

The Script Mage had a strange expression on her face. "Lu-chan...have you ever heard Gajeel be like that?" she asked, sitting down next to her friend.

"Like what?" the Celestial mage inquired.

"Grateful. I mean most of the time he just kind of nods unhappily if someone does something for him. He doesn't exactly...admit when he's grateful." she clarified.

Lucy sat back, thinking hard. "Hey, Natsu!" she turned, calling the Fire Dragon Slayer from where he was buys arguing with Gray. Other than Lily, Levy and Juvia, Natsu and Wendy were the only ones who spent much time around the irate Iron Dragon.

"Yeah? Hey Levy." Natsu landed on their table with a thud, leaving Gray to try and regain his balance behind him. "What's up?"

"Does Gajeel ever...admit it if h- she is grateful? You know, if someone does something for hi- her, does she show it in an obvious way?" Lucy asked.

Natsu's face went into his 'thinking' face for a minute. "Nope, he just scowls and acts a bit less bastard-y. Why?"

"Thanks Natsu, no reason." Lucy shooed him away, deliberately avoiding answering the question beyond that.

"I'm goin', don't rush. Oi, you get to pick the next job remember?"

Lucy rolled her eyes. "Yes, I remember. I'll have a look in a minute, ok? Now shoo, go away." She pushed away, fighting against Natsu's suddenly dead weight.

"~Luuuucy!~" he made it a whine. "Hurry up."

She huffed. "I'll pick one soon, a few minutes won't kill you."

You could hear the grin in his voice. "Nah, I mean I wanna fight Gray. Push faster."

"Aye! Lucy, push faster! Push faster!" Happy flew around him. "You're being ~laaaaazzzzzyyyyy~!" he sang, prompting Lucy to glare at him.

"Walk yourself! What am I, an ox?" Lucy snarled at Natsu. He suddenly moved slightly forward, Lucy falling forward and hands sliding lower until she found herself pushing against his lower back, balancing on the tips of her toes as she was stretched, just above his waist. Now, Natsu was leaning back, standing on the balls of his feet, arching over her and letting his weight fall on her. Lucy realised with a start if she stopped holding him up, he would fall on her. "Natsu, get off!" It was incredibly awkward, since she was now stretched out as well and barely maintaining her balance.

"Hmmm...Nope." was his lazy reply.

"Natsu!"

"Ask nicely." He instructed her with a remarkably evil grin, sadly unseen thanks to her position. It certainly gave the rest of the guild a scare.

"I'm going to kill you!" Lucy screamed up at him.

Natsu laughed, with Happy shortly joining in.

The Celestial Mage resorted to outside help. "Levy, help me!" she looked back, a sense of despair growing as Levy smiled far too innocently at her, previous discussion completely forgotten.

"I could, but you look like you're having fun and it would be rude of me to interrupt." Levy giggled at Lucy's distressed expression.

"Lucy to give up within ten minutes and let Natsu fall on her, the odds are 3 to 1, make your bet!" Cana called helpfully. "Giving up between ten minutes and half an hour, 4 to 1." There were calls back, and Cana was soon busy writing down.

"Help me!" she shouted, but the guild seemed to have settled on letting her and Natsu work it out on their own.

Levy laughed as she watched Lucy scream at Natsu, who appeared to be enjoying himself immensely. It was a pity Gajeel had left before seeing this.

* _Iron Maiden *_

"Fucking girls' shit," Gajeel swore vehemently, heard easily through the thin wall separating her bedroom and the rest of the apartment. There were several miscellaneous thumps and bangs that Lily was not about to bother with investigating. He was sure Gajeel would work it out. "About fuckin' time." She emerged, scowling as fiercely as ever. "Let's go."

Lily decided not to comment. "Wanna check if Flint is in?" he asked instead.

Gajeel denied with a shake of her head, sending her waist long mane of vicious hair flying. "He's always in. We'll have to get your new Buster Marm when we're back." The Exceed nodded and jumped from the coach, following his Dragon Slayer out the door. Lily made sure it was locked, since Gajeel tended to be of the opinion that even if anyone broke in, she'd just smell them out and beat them up, meaning no one would dare.

"Where are we meeting the VIP?" Pantherlily inquired.

"The brat's in town, getting a damn coach ride to the next place the idiot wants to do. In some fancy-arse hotel somewhere" Was the growled reply. "Think I remember where the place is. Tacky as hell, if I'm right."

"I think" Pantherlily said slowly. "That 'tacky as hell' was a bit of an...understatement on your part."

Gajeel nodded in agreement. "I wish I smashed this place up when I still in Phantom Lord. Fuck, the people around here would probably pay me to do it now." There was a thoughtful silence as they stared at the gold-painted encrusted, ornament covered hotel. "You think maybe we could-"

"No." He was quick to cut her off, seeing where this was going.

"Maybe just a couple of the neon flamingos?" she suggested.

It was more tempting than Lily cared to admit. Finally, he shook his little head with a sigh. "No, not this time." At Gajeel's subtly downcast expression, he added positively "We could get a couple of others from the guild and have a fight here when we get back. I'm certain Salamander and Elfman will agree." He offered. They shared a dark grin. If they fought outside, and the building got 'accidentally' damaged, well, no harm. The people of Magnolia were used to such things by now. Hell, it was practically considered tradition to invite a Fairy Tail mage or two to house-warming parties now. It wasn't really home, the residents of Magnolia said, until at least one of the walls had a hole in it and something had been set on fire or frozen.

"Sounds good. I doubt bright green, red-dotted horse statues are 'Manly'. Come on, let's go find the brat." Gajeel nodded towards the entrance, which made one think of the maw of some great beast who just did not know that less could be more and they strode through.

Aside from avoiding looking too closely at any of the 'modern art' the owner had decided was in fashion, it was relatively easy to find the man they were looking for.

Gajeel stared down at the son of a wealthy noble, who was currently doing his best to fondle every woman who came within reach. "Aw fuck." She said it with feeling.

'_Oh, Gajeel can see where this is going?_' Lily thought to himself, surprised. Honestly, it seemed like Gajeel's mind was intent on not considering how things would play out now he was a she whenever it could. "Something wrong?" he asked innocently.

She snorted. "I hate brats like this. Haven't done shit in their lives, spend all their time spending money they haven't even earned. Fucking parasites. Metalicana would have eaten this fucker by now." She growled to herself. "Shit-head will look down on me until I save his arse or give him a good beating, fuckin' trust me on that."

'_Ah, I guess not_" Her partner concluded. Oh well, best to get it over with. "Well, no point waiting around. He's where the request said he would be, the receptionist said this is the guy. Nothing to do now but get on with business." He advised.

Huffing inwardly at the annoyance of dealing with nobles, Gajeel marched forward, Pantherlily at her side. Coming to a stop behind the noble, she made sure to stand between at least one light and him. Nothing worked for first impressions like towering over them. The reaction, as the short-haired blond head turned to her, was not what she expected.

"Hey baby, you look like the kind who likes it rough. Wanna join me for a game or two of 'hide the sausage'?" Nornigold Thobithion the Fourth asked, giving the Dragon Slayer the sort of grin some would called 'devilishly handsome'. Gajeel would call it 'dim and stupid'.

The pause, as Gajeel's brain heard, processed, processed again just to be sure, considered a response, processed a third time, and came to a violence laden conclusion, was occasionally interrupted by muffled laughter from the small black cat. Nornigold peered down at the Exceed, giving him a confused look. He looked up to ask what he thought would be his next 'conquest' what was up with the talking kitty, and froze.

The expression on her face could be best described, under ideal circumstances, with a series of murals painted by master artists who had all been recently traumatised by bloodshed and an army of violent fanatics who thought it would be an absolutely lovely idea to splatter the walls with the internal organs of several dozen people. In the current circumstances the description 'murderously furious, with a hint of blood-thirst and sending a nagging sensation of brown into your pants' would have to do.

"What" she asked slowly. "The FUCK did you just say to me?" her eye twitched dangerously and her hands became tight fists.

"Come on babe, a bit of fun for us both." He grinned in what he obviously thought was a roguish way. "Your kitty can watch."

"I'd rather not, thanks all the same." Pantherlily managed.

"Huh?" Nornigold stared down, trying to work out if that cat had really just talked. It was wearing pants, after all.

A heavy hand slammed onto his shoulder, grip tight and fingers digging into his shirt. "I'm _this_ close to breaking every bone in your body, damn escort quest can go to hell!" Gajeel snarled, tightening her hold to a point where it was nearly about to become painful.

"E-escort quest? You're my guard?" the noble stuttered, staring up at the noticeable canines she was baring at him. To his credit, Nornigold recovered marvellously. He smiled at her. "Well, then you _can't_ hurt me."

"I can't _kill_ you." She corrected him. "The request just says I have to get you through this damn little tour of yours alive."

"And all limbs attached;" Came from the ground again.

She glanced down at Pantherlily, "Really? Do fingers count as limbs?"

"I think they do." Lily warned her.

"Well damn." Gajeel growled before turning her attention back to the noble. "Alright, Goldilocks or whatever, let's go. I'm here, so its time to start." So saying, she picked him up by the back of his expensive green jacket and began to walk out.

"Hey, let me down! And my name is Nornigold, you barbarian!"

* _Iron Maiden *_

The silence in the carriage was not, as some might think, awkward. To be awkward would require at least two parties within to care what the other thought.

At least until Gajeel noticed the noble watching her with a calculating eye. Ignoring it, she went back to watching landscape on the right, while Lily watched the left.

Finally, after over an hour during which Gajeel completely forgot Nornigold's attention, the noble said something. "I thought Kurogane was...male."

"Eh?" she glanced at him. "I was. Magic happened. Now shut it." The Dragon Slayer commanded him shortly.

"You're being rather rude, you know." He pointed out with a cocky smile.

"You're being rather suicidal, you know." She returned without looking.

The noble actually laughed. "You shouldn't judge me just because of what happened in the bar. That's just a hobby."

"Fascinating," Gajeel's voice said it was really anything but. "You want to know what mine is?"

"'Beating annoying nobles bloody', or some such?" Nornigold guessed with a shrug.

There was silence, with a suggestion of muffled sniggers from the left window.

"I was right, wasn't I?" the noble asked, wearing a sort of insufferable grin.

Gajeel's hand tightened into a fist. "I'll punch you right through the wall if you don't shut up, Goldilocks."

The threat went unnoticed. "My name is Nornigold, barbarian _girl_." He smiled as Gajeel turned a deadly glare at him. "But you can call me 'Sir' or 'Master'."

"I'll call you 'practice dummy' if you don't shut up." She snarled. "Better a barbarian than a useless 'noble' waste of space."

Nornigold's expression became slightly frosty. "Can't hold a conversation without threats, can we, barbarian?"

"I dunno if you can, I never listen to you." There was a feeling of warmth at that. It was better than Gajeel's usual insults, most of which were more accurately labelled threats, a bit more wordy than 'fuck you'. She had to give Levy some credit there. For whatever reason, the oddly friendly little mage had taken to just...hanging around the Dragon Slayer and being unaccountably nice. Almost as if Gajeel hadn't beaten her team and left them hanging from a tree with the Phantom Lord symbol painted on her stomach.

He sneered at her. "So, you have some minor wit? How surprising. Like a dog that can play the piano...well, I suppose you'd be a _bitch _that can play a piano."

"I'm gonna rip off your d-" Gajeel began, slowly standing. An explosion rocked the carriage suddenly, the driver outside shouting out as the vehicle shook.

"Bandits mi'lord! Bandits come to steal our livelihoods and ravage us!"

Pantherlily glanced out the window, searching for the enemy. "Well, I guess it's time to go to work. Stop the carriage and we'll deal with them." Appearing as if from nowhere, a horde of gun-totting and sword-waving bandits charged towards the carriage; yelling at the top of their lungs. Lily glanced towards the driver. "'Ravage'?"

Gajeel shrugged and leapt out.

* _Only minutes ago _*

Lasair sighed irritably as he sighted the carriage. This, he felt, was a waste of his time and talent. Beneath him his raptor-like like mount let out a quiet hiss. He patted its neck reassuringly, hiding a grin at the way the horses of his erstwhile allies whined and pranced in distress. Just because he had to help these petty idiots did not mean he had to enjoy it.

"Let's go!" the leader of this particular bandit gang snarled. "Why are we waiting? That punk who got Jeerse caught is in that carriage!"

Hand tightening on the reins for a moment, Lasair resisted the urge to turn and reduce the fool to human-shaped charcoal. Working with such morons was all part of the plan, and Folamh would get annoyed with him if he screwed up any part of it. Muttering about 'tricky bastards', he waved the bandits forward. "Fine, do as you wish."

The bandit leader eyed him. "Aren't you supposed to help?"

"You can manage to take an unprotected carriage on your own, can't you? Or do you need me to do everything for you?" Lasair sneered at the bandit. He motioned towards the carriage. "Just get on with it."

Shooting a dark glare at Lasair, the bandit gave a shout and his gang responded with a roar. They charged down the hill, hooting and calling as they charged.

'_Haven't these idiots ever heard of stealth?'_ Lasair pressed his palm against his face, shocked by 'bandits' like these. '_Why couldn't Domhan do this?'_ he clucked his tongue, and the raptor-beast slowly began to follow. No need to rush, after all.

A crossbow bolt to the forehead was not something most people got back up from. Opening the door, Gajeel was not even fazed as it shattered against her iron skull, although she was a bit dazed for a second. Half a dozen more quarrels slammed into the side of the carriage. One hit a few inches from the door with a _thunk!_, biting deeply into the wood.

Gajeel snorted. "Idiots." She pointed a hand at the oncoming gang of nearly thirty bandits. "**Iron Dragon's Lance: Demonic Logs!**" her magic seal flared up, followed shortly by a stream of iron spears. They slammed into front ranks, creating chaos as men and horses fell to the ground and made life considerably more difficult for those behind them. The sounds of equine distress accented by the cries of bandits being crushed under the weight of their mounts made Gajeel grin.

A dark blur shot past Gajeel, growing in size until Pantherlily, now in his Battle Shift Mode, crashed into the milling bandits. Bones crunched and snapped as he laid his fists against the apparently fragile bodies of the enemy.

Watching from the hillock, Lasair face-palmed again. "Idiots." He growled, watching as Gajeel joined the fray, laying about with her club-like arms with obvious glee. His raptor hissed aggressively, and it picked up speed.

Plowing through two of the bandits, Gajeel let out a sinister laugh as she punched a third in the face and rammed a foot into the crotch of a fourth. Grabbing two more, one head in each hand, she leapt into the air above the chaotic brawl and launched first and then the other, turning the unfortunate bandits into living missiles.

Unheard by anyone in the battle, a voice spoke "**Hiken**(1)**.**"

Cackling, Gajeel suddenly caught a strange scent about two seconds before a cloud of fire slammed into her. Falling, smoking, Gajeel hit the ground with a _thud_! Recovering from the unexpected attack, she leapt to her feet practically growling. "Who the hell..." her voice trailed off as she spotted the obvious source of the fire.

Fire orange hair, tied into a massive spiky ponytail hung from his head. His red eyes were framed by a single long lock of hair on either side of his lean, almost skinny face. A plain brown cloak with a high collar that covered his jaw sat on his shoulders, over a dark red shirt and black trousers held up a thick leather belt. He stood legs wide, a simple pair of sandals on each foot, in a combat posture. It would be impossible not to realise he was the source of the attack, what with the fact his left fist was still covered in fire, hiding an copy of the fingerless glove that adorned his right hand. He stood just beyond the battle, next to a bizarre raptor-lizard creature fitted with a saddle.

A toothy grin spread Gajeel's lips. "I _knew_ this was too easy." She crowed eagerly, charging towards the newcomer. She had to punch one or two bandits out of the way, but they failed to slow her down. The fire mage grinned, a similar thought going through his mind as he watched the approaching Dragon Slayer. He lifted his hands, forming a cross with his index fingers.

"**Jujika**(2)**.**" A cross of flames burnt through the air as it shot from the mage's hands. Gajeel leapt above the attack with ease, the flaming cross striking instead the bandits, and noted absently that the fire mage seemed uncaring about the level of damage he was inflicting on the bandits.

Her cheeks bulged for a moment as she responded with magic of her own. "**Iron Dragon's Roar!**" the whirling mass of iron-shavings vomited from Gajeel's mouth, crossing the space between them in seconds. The fire mage did not bother moving, simply taking the attack. Gajeel narrowed her eyes suspiciously. Orange light flared as the attack hit him, and a cloud of dust was sent up by the attack, obscuring the fire mage.

Coming to halt outside the cloud, Gajeel nearly sniffed before realising that doing so would clog her nose with dust. Swearing, glared into the cloud. She _hated_ not knowing what the enemy was going to d-

"**Kagero****!**(3)" a stream of fire bellowed from the cloud, coming close to hitting Gajeel had she not dodged with battle-honed reflexes the instant she felt danger. Rather than dissipate as simple blast would the stream followed her. Growling, Gajeel knew how to put a stop to that.

Drawing back her fist as she sprinted around the cloud, closely pursued by the magical fire, Gajeel punched towards the source. "**Iron Dragon's Lance!**" a single iron spear soared through the air. It lanced through the source of the attack, and the flame flickered out. Grinning in victory, Gajeel came to a stop.

Which is when the fire mage burst from the dust cloud right in front of her, both fists aflame. "**Hiken!**" both thrust forward, twin blasts released. Realising that with an attack each side there was no way to dodge, Gajeel chose the direct route. Direct: another way of saying straight-forward. She leapt forward, sweeping her arm out to strike the fire mage.

"**Iron Dragon's Sword!**" the dark blade-arm sliced through the air towards the fire mage's face as flames closes on either side. The mage failed to dodge and the sword bit into his neck...and kept going. Staring in shock, Gajeel watched as her opponent's flesh seemed to ignite as her weapon hit, which just flew through the flames. He grinned at her, and with a gesture halted the inferno burning around them.

"So, from the sound of it I'm guessing you're Kurogane Gajeel?" he scratched his chin thoughtfully, completely relaxed with someone's sword-arm buried in his neck. "You know, I thought you were meant to be a guy. But" he shrugged cheerfully. "I'm not complaining!"

Not being taken seriously was something Gajeel did not put up with. "You won't complain about anything, when I'm done with you!" Quick as a flash, she slashed at him again. And again. And again. Each time, the blade passed through the fire mage's body as it dissolved into flames, and each time the mage's smirk grew.

Eventually, he seemed to grow bored. "Since I know your name, it seems fair to tell you mine." He extended a hand, as though to shake. "I'm Lasair. Was that necessary?" the last he added sourly when she chopped through his reaching hand.

Gajeel's mind was working furiously. '_Dammit, this is like fighting Juvia! Can't land a single blow!' _It was an unfortunate fact that Gajeel's magic was a bad matchup against the water mage, as Iron Dragon Slayer magic was purely physical. Other than raw magical power, she lacked anything like the energy of fire or lightning. This guy was one who needed to be fought with similar elemental or non-physical magic for any hope of success. But there would be a flaw, a method to prevent him from using that ability if only she could find it.

Growing disinterested in Gajeel's struggle to wound him Lasair huffed and with a sweep of his arm removed part of the fire cover. "Hmm...seems to be going as I thought it would...your cat is pretty awesome." He admitted, some admiration in his voice.

She actually paused there. "He is, isn't he? But aren't those _your _allies he's beatin' the crap out of?" she asked warily.

Lasair shrugged nonchalantly. "I'm only working with them cause Folamh told me to." He smirked at the shock on Gajeel's face. "Oh yeah, surprise. He told me all about that thing on the train. Nice work, you make a much hotter babe." Confusion, followed shortly by fury, filled her eyes and Gajeel renewed her attempts to vivisect Lasair. He was unconcerned. "What are the odds? You're on this quest which leads you to someone who knows Folamh. Must be pretty damn luc- Hang on a tick, what's all this?" looking through the gap in the fire wall, he sighed. "Well, look whose trying to run away." His fist clenched, and a small fierce flame was born between his fingers.

Glancing out of the corner of her eye, Gajeel bit back a snarl. '_That fucking idiot!_' she thought furiously at carriage speeding away down the road.

"Sorry sis, gotta get to work." He smiled at her in an inappropriately relaxed way, entirely ignoring the way she twitched dangerously at being called 'sis'. "But hey, let's try this another time." With that, Lasiar's body from the waist down became a whirling torrent of fire and shot through the air. Like a flaming arrow, he blasted through the air at high speed. Shouting to Pantherlily, Gajeel pelted after him but she could tell she would never catch him. The carriage was bouncing down the road, unaware of its approaching doom.

Lily did notice, however, when a wave of heat passed him and the barely-conscious bandit held in one hand as the other hand drew back to punch let out a feeble cheer. His ears twitched and he looked at the sprinting, yelling Gajeel. Swearing, he hit the bandit in the face and dropped him to pursue the fire mage. Wings sprouting, Pantherlily's Aera lifted him into the air and he was moving at top speed. Even so, Lasair had already _passed _the carriage. For a moment, both Fairy Tail mages wondered at that, the fire mage hovering in the air above the road, facing the oncoming carriage.

Even such a distance, Gajeel could still see the eager grin on Lasair's face as he raised his hands.

"**Hotarubi**(4)**.**" Dozens of small glowing lights appeared around Lasair, and with a gesture they sailed towards the carriage. In moments, the cloud surrounded the carriage. Holding an open hand towards the carriage, he closed it as he spoke again. Even as he did so, a black blur reached the carriage. "**Hidaruma****!**(5)" The tiny fireballs seemed to implode, detonating at the centre, the blast obliterating the carriage and anyone in it.

* _Iron Maiden Chapter 2_ *

Please R&R!

Translations below!

First off, Lasair's pretty clearly using the moves of Portgas D. Ace, of One Piece fame (Oda, you monster! You masterful author of a monster!). Originally, I just thought "Hey, make him the same thing as Juvia except with fire!" and when I was thinking up attacks I just couldn't resist throwing this in. Oh yeah, and below are translations of the attack names. Like I said at the top, I'm just using whichever language I happen to like more for each character's magic.

(1) = Fire Fist

(2) = Cross-fire

(3) = Heat Haze

(4) = Firefly Light

(5) = Fiery Doll


End file.
